Matthias, who was not to be born…

I would like to tell you a story about our son Matthias. In the course of the pregnancy he was diagnosed with a serious congenital defect. The doctors said he should not be born. In fact, if we shared the opinion of 90 % of the population, he would not be born and we would opt for an abortion. 

 

I came to know my wife Magda in the course of my study of medicine. In May 2011 in church we promised each other love, respect and fidelity. After the wedding we moved into a new flat, and the everyday worries as well as the joys began. When my wife told me she was pregnant I was taken aback at first. To tell the truth I did not expect it so soon, but gradually the feeling of happiness prevailed, and we began to look forward to the new arrival. We were happy to learn about every new centimeter that appeared on ultrasound. The date of the birth was fixed on May 31, 2012. Gradually we started to equip the children's room. All was going well in happy expectation until one day in December right after Christmas. I was at work when my wife called me. Weeping, she told me about screening tests from the laboratory which showed some congenital defects. The next day we were supposed to go to the department of genetics to get more details. We were informed there that because of five fold increased values, there was a high risk of Down syndrome. A more detailed test was offered to my wife. As it presented some risk for both my wife and the fetus, we refused.

“Your eyes saw me unformed” (Psalm 139,16)

The following days were full of agitation and uncertainty. I searched the internet for all possible information. On websites for expectant mothers there were many cases of positive screening tests with far greater possibilities of inborn defects. In spite of the positive test results a healthy child was born. Even from our friends we learned about a lot of cases with positive tests and contrary to the prognosis everything turned out well. We are both young, healthy with no hereditary genetic defects, everything will be all right… With mixed feelings we awaited January 16, the 20th week of pregnancy,when my wife had an appointment for a detailed ultrasound of the fetus. We were welcomed by a smiling young doctor. There was nothing to be afraid of, he told us, we would even get some pictures. First he examined the heart which among children with Down syndrome is most often affected by various defects. We were hardly able to breathe those several seconds, and I felt Magda pressing my hand. During the examination the doctor kept smiling, and finally he told us that there was nothing wrong with the heart. I cannot describe the sigh of relief. Then examination of the head followed. Suddenly the doctor stopped smiling and quickly started examining the abdomen. From his expression I knew at once there was something wrong. I could see he was at a loss for words how to tell us what the picture revealed. “Here on the head it doesn't look as it normally should.” He showed us multiple enlarged brain chambers filled with cerebro-spinal humour and only a thin ring of cerebral tissue. The diagnosis was inexorable. A big hydrocephalus internus. He quickly examined other organs and put down the measurements. We both had tears in eyes. I will never forget what he told us: “See these findings on the brain and in this early stage of pregnancy… It will not go well. There is a high probability that the fetus will die spontaneously before the birth. Children with such a finding are usually severely handicapped, They have problems with postnatal adaptation, with development of movement and intellect. If you decide to carry the baby to term, there may be problems with the birth itself. The child may never learn to walk or speak, and he will never smile at you. He will be dependent on an apparatus and fed with tubes.You are still young. This is the 20th week of pregnancy. I will give you a recommendation for abortion on the grounds of genetic indication, unless you have religious reservations.”

I told him we were religious, the abortion was out of the question, and we wanted to carry the baby to term. I was not thinking about what I was saying, I spoke automatically. Magda did not object, but could not help crying. The doctor gave us a report and again repeated that there were still four weeks left in which we could decide for abortion. He said he did not want to prevail on us but told us plainly that there was no future for the child…

We left the consulting room, and we both cried. The doctor's verdict was definite. The laboratory results could not be wrong. They showed the actual state of our child's brain. It is hard to describe our feelings and thougths on the way home. Why us? Lord, what are we being punished for? What is going to happen now? Hadn't we better consider the abortion? Will we look after a severely handicapped child? Will we be going to see the child in hospital for two years? The child will be hooked to an apparatus and die anyway. We are both young, our whole lives are ahead of us. The child will spoil our life. When we arrived home we were glad that we were left to ourselves. We stayed in bed all day holding each other's hand and crying. I wanted to say something to Magda to encourage her, but I was helpless. The burden was unbearable. I spent the evening at my computer looking for information.

Most cases of hydrocephalus which I found were from 30th week of pregnancy or later. Due to hemorrhage in the cerebral chambers a clot is formed and it cloggs the circulation of cerebro-spinal humour. It cannot flow away, so it builds up and this causes growth of the head. In such cases the birth has to be induced followed by an operation, which releases the pressure in the head. Consequently most children are handicapped; but I also found some cases of complete recovery and further development without any problem. However, with us it was different. In this early stage of pregnancy there was nothing to be done. In the 20th week of pregnancy the child is not able to live outside the uterus. There were only two possibilities. Carry the baby to term or abort. That very evening I searched on the Internet for the words hydrocephalus and miracle, and I found a hyperlink called God's Miracle. It described a story of a family facing the same problem. I was surprised to see the similarity. 20th week of pregnancy, hydrocephalus, indication to abortion, practically no chance, their thoughts and considerations, as if somebody was describing our situation. They were Christians. They committed everything to God and carried the baby to term. The birth was without any problems, and a girl was born to them completely healthy. This story gave us hope. That very evening we started to pray together and committed our problem to God. We refused the abortion definitely.

We are both religious, but to tell the truth my faith was by no means strong, and I had my doubts. At home we did not speak much about religion. We went to church, sometimes we said our prayers, but that was all. Now we felt much closer to each other and our prayers became more fervent. We asked God for a miracle, and we put all our hopes in Him.

Though it was difficult we had to go on. We tried not to think about what might happen and we kept ensuring each other of our right decision. We agreed with the doctors on regular ultrasound checks of the head. Every time we went for the appointment, we prayed and hoped there would be some improvement, yet, we were always told the same: The finding on your child’s brain doesn't show any change. The brain chambers are enlarged and are formed atypically. The head is about three times bigger than it should be. I am afraid the prognosis is not good. We tried to keep ourselves busy and not think about what was going to happen. For Magda it was more difficult, and I felt ill at ease when I saw her crying so often. We avoided our neighbors' company. The members of our family were the only ones who knew about the problem.We did not know how to speak about it. We were afraid of how the people would react. We feared that they would look down on us and point at us. Every evening we committed everything to God and prayed for a miracle. We took part in several meetings where people prayed for recovery. Slowly we accepted that our child would be handicapped and our life would never be the same. When we learned that the child would be a boy we started to call him Matthias.

At the beginning of May we started to plan the birth. Because of the bigger head it was agreed that the birth would be induced. I brought my wife to hospital three weeks before the stated date anxiously awaiting the birth. It lasted long and it was very difficult. All sorts of complications arose. His umbilical cord was twisted around his neck; he did not want to come out and had to be helped. When we saw him for the first time and heard him crying we had tears in eyes. He was then taken to intensive care unit for monitoring.

The birth was very complicated but at last he was out and manifested it loudly. He looked just like every other new born baby. The postnatal adaptation was without any problems. An early ultrasound of the head and magnetic resonance was done. Both checks revealed a developmental defect in the brain chambers. But in spite of the finding in the brain the head did not enlarge. Matthias had no problems, was fed milk and put on weight. All other checks including neurological were all right and at last we could take him home.

A year has passed since he was born. We have been happy to see his progress, his first smile, his first words and now we are awaiting his first steps. In his development he does not differ from other “normal” children. Though the doctors are still apprehensive, the checks are less and less frequent. We are happy to see him grow and enjoying himself. Every day we are rewarded for all the troubles and worries by his unforgettable smile, and we cannot stop thanking God for the miracle.

Every hardship in life proves to be of great benefit in the end, and so it was for us also. Such an experience can change the goals and priorities of your life. Suddenly we felt we were closer to each other and were able to share the good and evil just as we promised ourselves at the altar. We learned to appreciate every minute when we could be together. We also learned how quickly all your hopes can tumble down. But even in helpless situations small hope remains, and it is necessary to commit everything to God and believe in miracles.

I completely changed my opinion on abortion. I used to be rather tolerant but now I know that from every embryo there will one day be a unique human being. No matter what the public opinion on abortion is today, it is never an interruption. It always means killing. Today it is possible to abort till the 12th week of pregnancy if the parents ask for it, and from 12th till the 24th week on the grounds of a genetic indication. Most babies are aborted for petty reasons just because it is inconvenient for the parents. I would like to point out that even in case of “health reasons” the medical information can be mistaken. At first an incurable defect with practically no chance proved to be a deviation in development with perhaps no impact on the life and progress of Matthias. We are grateful to have made the most important decision in our life, to go against the tide. The world has been deprived of a great number of wonderful people. In the Czech Republic itself more than 3,200,000 babies have been killed since abortion was legalized. We may even compare it to six million people killed in concentration camps.

What to say to sum it up? I only hope that this story will speak to someone who will need it, and that it will encourage him in the most difficult moments just as the story about the family and the recovery of their baby helped us.

Do you know what the name Matthias means? It comes from Hebrew - matitja or matitjahu - and is translated as God's gift.

Ondrej and Magda Ruzicka
a married couple from the Czech Republic